Skip to main content

"Life isn't fair!" Why I'm not satisfied with that answer.

Okay I totally understand how parents use this with their kids. When one child gets a toy over another child the other child will promptly yell "That's not fair!" And then the parent will promptly yell back "Life's not fair!" End of discussion. That's it.

This is a great parenting technique to get your child to learn about the ways of the world and also to quiet them down, but what happens if it used as an adult? On you?

In my senior evaluation from the department as a theatre major I had left a very blunt evaluation form for the department to read. As a senior I felt I had an obligation to give my true opinion and hold nothing back. In my review I was honest that I saw injustices in department concerning favoritism in casting. In the section of what can the department improve, I was very blunt and blatantly said "I personally feel the students who work the hardest are rarely given the chances they deserve. The people who are cast the most, often complain the most, they are the least gracious and rely predominantly on natural talent to get them by. In the real world talent only get's you so far. The people who have the best work ethic, work well with others and are the most gracious more times get ahead. Sometimes it doesn't matter how talented you are (especially starting from the bottom) you can't treat people like a diva. I feel it is time the department emulate the same standard." There was more that I was honest about including requesting more female heavy shows, and more opportunities for film classes but that summed up the individual grievances quite well.

My honesty was not very appreciated to say the least. Honesty rarely is. But I stood by my statement and was not backing down from that. In response, a dear professor of mine whom I am still close to said "You know you are a very fair person, but the world is not always going to be that way. You can't fix everything that is unfair." In a nice way, life isn't fair. They meant it in the best way, but it was a way to appease me nonetheless. They looked upset that I felt this way and tried to defend their side but it left me confused why I was supposed to be okay with what is clearly not right in a system?

But then I went to New York City. And my first week there the NYC Women's March Occurred. I marched that historic day and it changed my life forever.

It dawned on me that this was why I was not okay with life being unfair.

Look I get it life will absolutely be unfair. And if there is nothing I can do to change it in that moment then fine. No matter what I work hard and live life with positivity. But does this mean we should be silent about what is unfair? Should we not be honest and say what doesn't look right to our eye? Why is it a problem that I am telling you that this is unfair?

Well probably for the same reason the BLM movement, Women's movement, LBTQ movement and more have so much opposition. People don't like change. Especially when change includes admitting you are wrong.

So what has this meant for me?

Since that tiny grievance that just started at a tiny department evaluation, I have decided to speak up about things that matter to me.

1. How come there are never as many shows on Broadway about women compared to the shows about men?

2. How are women paid less than men on average for the same amount of work?

3. Why are my reproductive rights not nearly as protected as my gun rights?

4. Why is there hate toward minorities?

5. Why do white males dominate roles of power?

6. Why is one couple's love less than someone else's?

These are just a few things that I find unfair in the world.

Yeah the world is not going to be fair to me. But is the answer to these injustices, complacency? Silence? No. I believe that it is because of honesty, and loud nagging voices, that things change for the better. I believe that saying "Life is unfair." is best left said to the young.

So the next time someone complains or is honest with you about something being unfair, don't be that person and say "Get over it. Life's not fair." Instead listen. Hear them out.

The picture above was taken at the Women's MArch in New York 2017 by yours truly. 


Popular posts from this blog

Ashley H. White: Finding a Home in Directing

The DFW theatre industry is growing larger and more diverse. Growth can mean change and excitement but it can also mean big changes that force theatres to take risks. Ashley H. White and Joe Messina's new theater company, Imprint Theatreworks takes big and exciting risks as it emerges in a growing and competitive industry. If any of you saw their first performance of Glengarry Glen Ross you know that this is a company to be reckoned with. Ashley H. White's direction was daring, thoughtful and accurate to David Mamet's incredibly difficult style, yet she executed it with confidence as only a seasoned professional could. I couldn't wait to sit down with her and share her story with you.

If any of you know Ashley H. White you know that she is confident. The kind of confidence that makes you sit up a little straighter. But Ashley is also extremely humble. She credits her team and support system around her and she also is open about her struggles in the industry. Clearly sh…

Health tips for college students!

Alright lovelies.

So here is the deal. There is such a thing as the freshmen 15. It is real.

But there is good news. You can still get healthy.

My Junior year I decided to be a healthier person and to care about what I put in my body. Notice that I did not say lose weight. That was not my goal. Instead I ate healthier, got more sleep, gained large amounts of muscles and ended up losing the freshmen 15 entirely. Here are some of the major changes I made that have still impacted my health to this day.

1. Stop eating large amounts of fast food.

This doesn't mean that you have to stop going out with friends to Whataburger or going to that occasional treat, but I found what helped me most to lose weight is that I limited or stopped eating fast food altogether. Do you have FOMO and do not want to miss out on the social experience of going to a fast food restaurant? No worries! Instead of getting a whole meal or sandwich get a small fry or diet coke instead. Sure this is not necessar…

Daisy Prince: Loving the Music

Editors Note:
I am very excited to introduce my first interview series guest, the incredible Daisy Prince. I was extremely fortunate to have Daisy as my professor in New York City at the Tepper Program with Syracuse University. Her credits include performing in Pal Joey (1995), The Petrified Prince (1994) and Follies (1985) Off Broadway and Merrily We Roll Along (1981) on Broadway. Her director credits include The Last Five Years (2002) and Songs for a New World (1995). It is extremely exciting for me to share Daisy's wisdom in music with you today. Enjoy!
When did you decide you wanted to perform and direct?
I come from generations of professional Musicians, Directors, and Writers. Doing something in the performing arts seemed inevitable. On my mother's side, my grandfather was an Arranger and Composer for MGM and Columbia during the golden age of movie musicals. He then became an executive producer for movies including The Sound of Music and West Side Story. My mother's m…