Skip to main content

Two Years In



It may have been two years ago, but I still count moving to Dallas as one of the happiest days of my life. It was sunny and hot that day and I don't think I had that much Vitamin D in ten minutes than my entire time in New York City. I remember feeling completely surprised that a random stranger smiled at me and came up to talk to me. Seeing that Dallas skyline and my beautiful apartment, that was all mine still brings a smile to my face.


New York was not the right place for me at that time in my life. It was clear that the market was flooded with talented actresses who would never be seen and die trying to live their Broadway dreams. Not literally die but you know what I mean. But it wasn't just the industry that jaded me against New York. The city can be an incredibly lonely place. Most people are in this success driven mode and will rarely take the time to get to know you unless you have something to offer. It made me feel as a human being, that my value was only in how many jobs I could book.

So May 4th, 2017 I flew to a brand new place where I knew no one. Since then I have made incredible friends, performed incredible shows, and am still driven in my goals. I wanted to take a moment to go through some of the unexpected pleasant surprises adulthood has brought me since graduation and some of the hurdles I have to face now. I hope you enjoy.


1. Life has forced me to take care of myself. Before I had graduated I had already experienced burn out. Which should not be a thing at 22. Since graduating I have chosen to take breaks in between shows, not auditioned for things too far away, and not overworked myself with dance classes and voice lessons. I will say my mental health is still a work in progress, but I am getting there. My relationship with my body and food is still incredibly volatile. My anxiety rampant if I am not caring for me. So as an adult, it's my responsibility to love and care for all of me. Not just my physical body.


2. Valuing the relationships that are important and saying goodbye to the ones that aren't challenging you or bringing joy. I don't really need to go in too much detail with this one. My question to you is why keep certain friendships/relationships when they aren't benefitting you to the fullest? Now obviously don't cut everyone out. That's dumb. But there is such a thing as being cordial acquaintances. Then that leaves you with the people who "spark joy" in your life (judge me you Kondo haters). Care. About. These. People. These are the ones you should be working for.


3. Choose kindness. Yes you dark, depressing people, I am going Disney on you. But you really truly don't know how your actions affect someone's day. I will always remember those wonderful people who included me when I first moved to Dallas. I owe them pretty much all my friends here. So at the end of the day I want to be that person to someone as well. And sorry but no one wants to be an ass.


4. I hate drama. So if these two years have taught me anything, it's to stay away from it. Some of it is inevitable but overall I have loved not being apart of the dramatic. Leave it on the stage.


5. Decisions become bigger. This year I was in the process of trying to buy property. It didn't work out for a number of reasons but I learned so much from the process. The decisions that you make as you get older become more serious, financially binding, and longterm.


6. I am completely surprised with where I have ended up. I am now asked more to choreograph more often than performing. And while it's not what I expected, it has been a joy. What a pleasant surprise it has been to be a creator and artist in a completely different way.


7. I have become so much more confident. While I still have the same struggles that everyone deals with, I absolutely know my worth as a human being is not defined by money, my job or my friends. It's about who I am as a person. I don't care if I don't receive a gig, or someone doesn't like me because I am still who I am. It doesn't change me as a person and make me less than. I so wish I was this confident back in school.





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Be educated in finance! Anyway you can!

You are now an adult. You can't live without money. My parents are going to glow with pride when I say this. You were right for making me pick a minor. I'm even more thankful that it was a minor in business. If you're an actor starting out you cannot for a moment think that you are exempt from financial stress. No one is. So why are actors older than me unaware of basic financial principals? If you got them you can save yourself time and not read this and pat yourself on the back for being a well informed human being. Having four years of classes does not make me an expert in any way but I definitely found these tips have helped me in entering adulthood as an actor. 1. Understand taxes. This is a long one. They aren't as scary as you think. As an actor you can deduct SO MUCH of your expenses that are a pain to buy initially if you use them in a show. This includes those fancy Leducas, headshot sessions, driving to the theatre, leotards, AEA and SAG fees, and mo...
3 comments
Read more

My Journey to Loving my Curves: and why I'm not done yet.

Wow this is going to be a hard one. Mainly I am writing this for accountability, because going through this alone is difficult. Also I am writing this to tell all of you beautiful people who have struggled with self love that you are not alone. Disclaimer: I am not writing this to promote an unhealthy lifestyle nor am I a licensed therapist. If you need advice in any of those areas I highly recommend reaching out to a licensed dietician and licensed therapist. However self love should be a thing all people should strive for no matter what size or body type you are. For the sake of not triggering anyone I will refrain from mentioning weight, diet tips, binging methods and sizing. This is my story. When I was 13, I went to my first ballet audition for Summer Intensives at the American Ballet Theatre. I was young and bright eyed and did not feel bad about my body yet. I was a young girl who wanted to be a ballerina and was very comfortable with my body. However that day ...
2 comments
Read more

Daisy Prince: Loving the Music

Editors Note: I  am very excited to introduce my first interview series guest, the incredible Daisy Prince. I was extremely fortunate to have Daisy as my professor in New York City at the Tepper Program with Syracuse University. Her credits include performing in Pal Joey (1995), The Petrified Prince (1994) and Follies (1985) Off Broadway and Merrily We Roll Along (1981) on Broadway. Her director credits include The Last Five Years (2002) and Songs for a New World (1995). It is extremely exciting for me to share Daisy's wisdom in music with you today. Enjoy! When did you decide you wanted to perform and direct?   I come from generations of professional Musicians, Directors, and Writers. Doing something in the performing arts seemed inevitable. On my mother's side, my grandfather was an Arranger and Composer for MGM and Columbia during the golden age of movie musicals. He then became an executive producer for movies including The Sound o...
2 comments
Read more